Cheating is Dopamine?

Hello everyone, 

This is my first-ever blog in this 20th century era, where blogs are not the first stop for most of us—as I'm quite Gen Z myself, I choose X or TikTok as my first resources.

My name is Munis. I created this blog, as I don't have anywhere to yap and share what I have been through—or just to share my opinions with the public. 

Today, my friends say that he/she feels like he/she can't move on. How the h the other side can move on so fast? He/she does not understand. Let's call him/her y/n.

Y/n said their relationship has been more than 5y. but y/n partner cheated on y/n as they found someone closer and relatable? more than y/n.

When y/n asked me whether y/n's partner will be happy without y/n, all I can explain is this is dopamine.

He/she might be happy, but it might just because of the dopamine that they chase. I'm in a relationship myself. It's been 2 years with my lover. At first it was nice and sweet, and seeing him makes me happy, and butterflies, moths, and frogs are in my stomach all of the time. But as time went by, it disappeared. 

I ask myself countless times. 

Do I not like him anymore? Do I really love him? As a 20s girly, it confuses me. All of my past relationships ended after the first anniversary. But with him I managed to stay for 2 years. 

That's new to me.

He is not annoying, but his character does not match mine. I'm someone that is strict with time, while he is a laid-back person. I am often mad at him, and that's what kills my dopamine. The dopamine is gone. I'm mad at him now. I have a different perspective of him now; my mind says that: he does not have discipline.

 

But

He is a nice person, though—TOO NICE, to be exact. He always said that it's the way his parents raised him. Different from how I was raised, I was raised to avoid something that harmed and potentially harms me. Do not talk to them; ignore them. Just like how I've ignored my mental state since elementary school. 

Whatever it is, his personality does not match mine. Not completely; there is a lot in him that makes me wanna stay, that makes me feel that he will be a great husband, and most probably a great dad. 

When im with my lover, ive met countless guys (friends, btw) that is very disciplined and have the same personality as mine, same mindset, just like how I want my lover to be. But I can't change someone that i love, and grass is always greener in the other side. As I thought, i can see that those guy may have what I want my lover to be rn, but they do not have what my lover has. Love, the way he look at me, the way he will satisfy my craving, no one understands me like he do. the way he calms me down when im emotionally unstable, eventhough i need to teach and asks him to do it. it just because he does not know, its not that he does not love me. 

You guys may not understand the connections between dopamine, HAHAHAHH ive gone too far in this story. But we humans will always crave dopamine. That's why we tend to have fun when we are stressed (or not). Fun increased our dopamine. And if our dopamine increased frequently, we would crave greater dopamine. Just like how we eat our favorite food, if we eat it too frequently, we find it not so attractive anymore, and there is no fun in it, so we will find another greater favorite food. 

Just like how we get to know new people, it's new to our body and our mind. 

thats why i said to y/n the happiness will not last long, it takes patience to make the relationships works (and lasted). I might be wrong tho, what do you guys think?